Once, long ago, during a period of medical ‘upside-downness’, every day seemed to bring in another specialist. Each encounter gave me insight into the doctor-patient relationship. Ultimately this insight made me a much braver human and patient. This is a little reflection of that time.
I have a doctor who stood by me for years. He witnessed the physical difficulties and emotional terror that seemed to flood my life. However, when I think about him, I have never thought about him as primarily my specialist. No, I think about him as a human I trust. Of course, I trust his expertise in his specialty. But the trust I refer to here is one that surpasses faith in his skills wielded during a procedure. It is a trust that is built on the fact that he sees me, not just my diagnosis.
I know that to him I am not simply a case, but a person. He has never made me feel that because of his qualifications he expects me to surrender a part of my body to him, he offers me the utmost respect. This cements my trust in him, it also helps me to understand my diagnosis is simply a part of me, it is not me. If my doctor did not first and foremost display the qualities I have just described, the fact his is most acclaimed and highly revered in the world of medicine would not have mattered to me. I probably would have walked out of his office never to return.
So it is my feeling that human-to-human trust is the best antidote for anxiety. Often it only take a moment to garner this trust. This was displayed by another specialist called in for a procedure. Completely unexpected complications had arisen during a previous procedure. So, naturally I was filled with angst by the fact in minutes I would be facing the same ordeal again. I had a dozen anxiety driven questions I wanted to ply my him with in an attempt to calm myself down. He noticed the fear in my face, looked down at me, me the human not the patient, looked directly in my eyes and said: “I promise to keep you safe” that’s it. In six simple words he provided the antidote to the storm inside me.
So if you are a doctor reading this, I ask you, please don’t presume that your patients are going to trust you because you have a wall full of impressive certificates, or that your business card has multiple lines. Don’t presume on trust by virtue of the fact you dropped the title Ms, Mrs or Mr for Dr or Prof.
On the other hand, I implore anyone seeking treatment, to remember you are not your diagnosis, you are a human with a diagnosis. The person treating you is a human with a skill. Be brave enough to meet your doctors as people first. This will help you to ask questions and it will help you to be honest about your fears and hope.
Doctors and patients are simply humans sharing a journey.
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